#4 Feely Feelings That Feel Feely

The most recent time I can remember when I felt like I had to set aside apart of myself is when I was watching Dave Chapelle's latest Netflix special. The whole special felt cringey, but there were specific bits that really rubbed me the wrong way as a woman. One bit he did was about Louis C.K and sexual harassment. I love Louis C.K's comedy and his actions break my heart because how can I support someone like that? Dave Chapelle started the bit with a joke about masturbation which was funny,  but then he used it to undercut the gravity of sexual harassment. He goes on to say "they ruined this [guy's] life, and now he's coming back playing comedy clubs and they actin' like if he's able to do that, that's gonna hurt women." While I can see that Dave Chapelle's argument is that Louis C.K has learned his lesson and isn't going to sexually harass anymore women, how can anyone say that this is true? And beyond that, Dave Chapelle misses the entire point of the criticism people have of Louis C.K's success even after such a scandal. Dismissing Louis C.K's actions allows other sexual harassment and assault allegations to be dismissed which does hurt other women. On top of that Dave Chapelle says, "what the fuck is your agenda ladies?" as if women are just out to get men and ruin them for fun. I'm not even offended by his humor, I just don't understand how anyone could defend sexual harassment or assault.

Dave Chapelle's whole Luis C.K bit leads into a bit about abortion. He starts out by joking that he's neither for nor against abortion, but that it depends on who he gets pregnant. I thought, ok, bad joke but where is he going with this? After the audience boos and cheers he announces, "if you have a dick you need to shut the fuck up on this one." So now I'm thinking, alright this is a little more promising. He goes on to say that women should be able to exercise their rights and shouldn't have to consult anyone but a physician about getting an abortion. But this is Dave Chapelle, so what's the "punchline" here? Oh, if women decide to keep the baby then men have the "right" to not pay and abandon the child. "It's my money, my choice." he says. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. Normally the answer to that is yes, this is stand up comedy, but I have a very hard time believing that any of this is a joke to him. Now Dave Chapelle is just belittling the huge issue of abortion. He's not only trying to exclude men from the entire conversation, he's also completely missing the topic of debate. Abortion is an extremely personal choice and there are so many more factors that go into it than the money it takes to raise a child. Men should not be making these kinds of decisions for women, but they should be included in the conversation and have to take responsibility for creating life. After all, if the relationship was consensual the responsibility should be equal. Now, you can go down the road and say that just because the responsibility should be equal doesn't mean that it has to be. Of course being a single mother or father by choice is also a complicated and complex decision that differs from family to family, but abortion is not just a question of "do I want this kid or not?" it's not just a solution to a mistake, it's not abandoning a child. Abortion is complex and reasons for it vary from woman to woman and having to face the question of it at all is something that I can't even begin to fathom.

Before any of the jokes on sexual harassment and abortion, Dave Chapelle also had a shorter bit on gender equality. He asks if men and women were really equal why would there be an NBA and WNBA? Then says that if women were truly equal they would be good enough to play in the NBA and that there wouldn't be a WNBA. On top of not understanding that equality has nothing to do with physical ability but instead with equal air time and equal pay (and also wayyyy more things), he thinks that the best resolution to the issue of in/equality is "another idea that's going to be controversial, [women] could shut the fuck up." I think Dave Chapelle should shut the fuck up.

After watching it all the way through with three guys, I had to explain to them why Dave Chapelle telling women that they should "shut the fuck up" is not laughable and why the whole comedy special was just absolutely awful the way I just did in this blog. Also I just want to brag here about how my boyfriend joined me in schooling his friends and it was awesome.